Today I wanted to talk about an intention I’ve been implementing in my life in 2018. I’ve been putting this off writing this because I want to make sure that I’m really diving deep into this but, in reality, I’m probably never going to be an expert on this, I just want to share my insight.
In 2018, I stopped saying the words I’m busy.
That’s it. Simple. I am no longer busy.
I will be the first to admit that I burned my fuse very quickly in college. After my junior year ++ only being 21, I found myself physically, emotionally and mentally drained. I filled up my plate way to soon, and found myself not wanting to do anything I loved. Stress took over my body and I did not react well. I’m pretty sure my mom was ready to get a phone call that I had a mental breakdown at any moment. At the end of 2017 ++ the end of fall quarter 2017, my body was covered in hives, and as I started to reflect on what needed to change for 2018, I knew how I managed my time and stress needed to change.
So I started to journal what I wanted from 2018 for about a month, and through writing, I came up with I am no longer busy, I have all the time in the world, but I don’t have the energy to do it all. I thought about how I was scheduling my energy instead of my time. It all started to click and it started to make sense. I had a shift of how I started to think.
I threw time out of the window, and began to start thinking about how I viewed my energy. My energy started to look like a bank account. I have only so much to spend, so what am I going to spend it on and how am I going to spend it. The same when I was spending too much money, I would quickly run out of money, and of course it’s the time that an emergency would arise and I would have to scatter for money—I didn’t have a savings account for my energy. I made a list of just three things I wanted to focus on—school/career, CHAARG, and myself. These are the three things that take up most of my energy and what I want to spend my energy on. How I spilt this up is maybe a blog post for another day.
My perception on the word busy has changed. I became an ultimate believer that if anyone wanted to do anything, no matter what they have going on they will make time for it. I often used the word busy, because I was so burned out. I didn’t really know how to say no to something, because I was embarrassed at the fact that I was too tired to do anything, and to be that looked like failure. Before the rise of the wellness community of Instagram, people didn’t really post when they were taking a break or slowing down. The #girlbosses that I looked up didn’t seem to take a break, and they were very successful, so I need to go go go to become successful.
Since my perspective has changed, I have been able to be a more engaged student, a stronger leader, a present friend. My brain fog has cleared. My stress and anxiety have decreased dramatically and I’m finally getting a full night’s sleep. I feel a deeper connection to my highest self. Every day I journal the things I want to get down, what do I want to do that feed into my higher goals, and am really mindful of the things that the universe presents throughout the day.
I do have to admit, I haven’t perfected this. It’s finals week at my school, I’m sick, have low energy, and sleep deprived. I am mindful of it still, every minute I can I still work on trying to have all the energy I can have. Some days I still struggle to find the balance. It’s always about the little steps that you can take everyday to live a healthier life.
Hasta la próxima,